Yetis and Rainbows

I was sitting on my couch yesterday when I looked out the window and was like “Holy shit! It just rained and it’s really awesome!” So I went outside to take a closer look, and lo and behold there was a goddamn rainbow in all of its glory. I considered taking a picture but rainbows are so fleeting that I’m certain I wouldn’t have been fast enough. And naturally, while I was standing underneath the rainbow pondering the beauty of nature and shit, I thought of yetis.

What connection does a rainbow have to yetis? Yetis are part of nature, people! And I know for a fact that yetis like rainbows, too. Why else would they be more inclined to come out of hiding every time a rainbow shows up? Experts aren’t entirely sure why this happens, but they think it’s the yeti’s fascination with color that draws them out.

So when International Yeti Day is implemented we need to include rainbows in the plan somehow. I know that science can manipulate cloud formation… so we need a NEW branch of science to manipulate rainbow formation! Then the yetis will come out and hang with us. You see, rainbows are the missing link between yetis and people. We can finally unite with our brethren and dance together in nature’s glory!

I know, I know, it probably sounds like a bunch of hippie bullshit… but this plan cannot fail. I’m a goddamn expert and anyway, this is science. Expert or not, you can’t dispute cold, hard facts. If you’re wondering where I get this info from, that would be the Yeti Conservation Bureau. Sort of like the National Geographic of yetis. Scientists work around the clock to bring you this information.

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